Not as bad as expected.....

139.4lbs as of yesterday morning. Still huge and fat and disgusting but hey it's only a 2lb gain I guess
I weighed the bf today (we were joking about how bad our diet is and how its affected his skin so I wanted to see) and he's put on over 2 stone since we got together..... oopsie :') probably my fault as I love feeding him :') Worked out last night though that I'm not really going to have enough money at the new job to afford the gym :( I was so looking forward to it, but I suppose I'll just have to do what I can at home and go for walks at the weekend now its getting warmer. I'm starting to really stress over money cos I need to get new clothes cos I don't have any smart work things, and I've gotta save a months rent from my last paycheck from my current job cos I won't get paid till the month after I start the new job :/ and I've gotta pay for the train or bus every weekday to get there so I'm not gonna have a whole lot of money :/ it sucks tbh. On my period atm, and suffering majorly bad cramps but hey, it stops the hunger I guess.
Not weighed myself today. Ate a bit too much with the boyfriend last night (I felt so full and horrid all the way home, too much food combined with periodyness I guess), so I don't wanna weigh till tomorrow, when I'm hoping I'll be down. Not eaten very much today at all and I'll just have a salad at work so total intake for the day will be around 300-400 which I suppose is ok, and I'm currently on the stepper burning some of that so is all good :) I'll make sure I do some weight exercises on my arms before I head to work as well so my flabby arms get a little bit more toned before the summer.

I've been slathering my legs in bio oil the last few days, praying some of the scars on my thighs will go away before summer gets here properly. Then if by some miracle I lose 20 pounds and look halfway decent, I can wear nude tights with dresses, or maybe shorts? :O Scary thought tbh. I wore a dress to work yesterday tbf, but with really thick black tights obvs, and I really wanted just one person to say I looked nice, but of course they didn't :/ I mean who thinks an ugly fat girl looks good in a dress. It's ridiculous really.

Anyway I'll stop ranting now, hope everyone is doing well.
Much love
xxx